We all experience a loss or loss at some point. This may include: the loss of a friendship, a person (eg a child / baby / pregnancy), a dream, a career or a marriage / relationship.

For many women, having a partner and children is a dream come true. Their ideal “picture” for their lives arose from the idea of ​​a solid relationship with a partner, motherhood and raising children. When life takes a different turn, e.g. that it is not possible for them to have their own biological children, or their relationship does not work out, it is a huge loss. It feels as if everything they dreamed about and worked for was in vain and as if life is meaningless.

Losing something or someone is accompanied by a grieving process. Some people are aware of this and express their emotions, others are unaware of this process and go on with their lives day by day, others try to suppress or deny what they feel.


The Mourning Process

A grieving process is characterized by different emotional phases. One experiences times of denial (it is not true; has not happened; feels unreal), times of bargaining (bargaining(for example, if I make a change, or do something specific, everything will come back), times of intense sadness and grief (it can feel like a physical pain [of sadness]), times of anxiety and depression (I are tense or feeling miserable, life no longer makes sense), times of anger (I am looking for someone to blame, eg myself, the doctor or my partner), and also times (initially maybe only moments) of peace or acceptance (I can live with my new reality).


Many people think that one goes through a grieving step, e.g. first you deny the loss, then you negotiate, then you're angry, etc. However, this does not necessarily happen exactly this way. The different phases can come and go at different times, sometimes several in one day. Yet we want to reach a point where we can accept what happened for longer periods.


previous arrownext arrow


If you or a loved one is struggling with mental health issues, we suggest the following options:
  1. call your GP (if available);
  2. go to your nearest hospital emergency room;
  3. call one of the following emergency numbers: SADAG (the South African Depression and Anxiety Group) 24-hour helpline: 0800 456 789 or suicide crisis line: 0800 567 567; or
  4. contact Wie is ek?