Afrikaans English
Physical Abuse
Important!
Just like verbal abuse, physical abuse is not so much about violence but primarily about MAG. It is a person's attempt to gain or retain power over someone else.

LISE ASK: During the Oscar Pistorius case, physical abuse of women was again a topic of discussion in the media. Why are there so many men abusing women?

LOUIS ANSWER: Can I just mention that abuse occurs among all genders and ages. Men are therefore also physically and / or verbally abused. Just like verbal abuse, physical abuse is not so much about violence but primarily about MAG. It is a person's attempt to gain or retain power over someone else. In most cases, this is because the person is struggling with low self-esteem. Around the world, it is predominantly men who are the culprits. Women are normally PHYSICALLY weaker, smaller and less aggressive and thus make it easier for men to abuse them. It often happens that a man does not think much of himself and, in an attempt to give himself an emotional boost, acts violently towards the more defenseless party.

LISE ASK: Why does a woman stay with someone who physically assaulted her? Surely it can't be as simple as being "weak"?

LOUIS ANSWER: Of course not. Remember, we must distinguish between people who have been victims of physical violence in situations that they could not escape, and people who, by their own free will, remain in a situation. So we are not talking about someone who was physically assaulted during e.g. not a burglary, but of a woman who stays in a relationship for years where her husband physically abuses her. In such a case, we begin to look at victim syndrome. The person who experiences herself as the victim of a situation, strictly speaking, does not have to be in the situation but CHOOSES to stay in it, even if it does not consciously feel like a choice. is not. Many women are threatened or "blackmailed" with physical violence. In these cases, flight is not such a simple option. However, it often happens that people feel they have to live with the situation simply because they are not aware of other options or because other options seem equally unacceptable to them.

LISE ASK: Does this mean that some women will never be able to escape from such a situation?

LOUIS ANSWER: No, just that it is easier for some women than for others. We must remember that there ALWAYS other options are. Even if it sounds like unpleasant options, it remains options. Fortunately, the law is on the abused person's side. So it is easy to get an interdict against someone. If such an interdict is transferred, the culprit is quickly arrested. Should he be found guilty of this again later, imprisonment is an inevitable consequence.

There are several instances where a person can turn to for help. NO man, woman or man, need to be repeatedly abused and have the feeling that he / she is alone in the situation.